Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize