we have pet lesbian snakes
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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