man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
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I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
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lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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