So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
