ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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