..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
