"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
