well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
