I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
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In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
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Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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