there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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