it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
