if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
