i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
