I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
