I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
