Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize