i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
