I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
