I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The air taste purple.
Randomize
