I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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