I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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