Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
