Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
