I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
