I need help removing her.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
