May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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