You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
