I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
