We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
