yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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