Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
