just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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