Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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