Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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