This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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