God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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