And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
