Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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