just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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