i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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