i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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