Buhtt sex?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
