can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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