is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
