I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
