Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
