Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
