They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
