There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
wow bdsm is so cute
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
