He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize