Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
