you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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