We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
