so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
