His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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