There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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