True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
