you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will pee on everything he values.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
