i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
