There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
