i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
