So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
