Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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