I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
