i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
